I'm falling apart. My body is getting old, and it's trying to tell me so in not so many words. I can't change the fact that I am getting old either, which really bugs me. If I'm getting age-related illnesses, why do you have to call them "age-related"?? Is it just so I really feel that there is no hope at all for my condition? Or is it to remind me that others get these conditions, too, and not to worry about it 'cause there's nothing I can do about it?
I went to a naturopath yesterday to get tested for food sensitivities. I tested sensitive to wheat and soy. I'm still in shock and starting to go into auto-pilot to attempt to save my sanity. I really don't want to have food allergies. Or sensitivities! Or whatever! But I don't want the symptoms even more, so I am removing wheat and soy from my diet to see if the symptoms that I have been suffering from will disappear. I pray they do.
Now I feel like I have four kids. I have one healthy child, one with food allergies (that makes it feel like double the work!), and now I have food allergies myself, which feels like yet another child in my family. Maybe the Lord knew that even though I wanted 4 children, they wouldn't look exactly like I hoped they would (you know, small and cute). Two of them look like they are supposed to, and two of them look like phantom food allergic people, that I can't see, but still have to shop for, and cook for, and clean for.
I ran across these song lyrics today that really hit home: "If sacrifice requires that all my kingdoms fall, I surrender all." Lord, help me to surrender all to You. Amen.